An Open Letter to Target

F TARGETDear Target, You made an enemy this morning.

As scheduled, I rolled up to my local Target bright and early, giddy with anticipation for the new Anna Sui collaboration.  I practically floated through the parking lot of the South Philly store, ignoring the cries of the random seagulls that seem to constantly hover over that space (what's up with those birds by the way?  Why are they always there?).

My heart started pounding when I neared the Anna Sui display.  Wait...why do the racks look practically empty?  Where are all the good sizes/pieces?  The store just opened HALF AN HOUR AGO and there is NO ONE ELSE HERE.  I rush through the crappy sizes, thinking there must be a incredibly quiet mob of women in the dressing room who were smarter than me and who were waiting outside when the doors opened (damn!).  I grab two stupid looking shirts and convince myself to try them on.  I tell myself, "If there are crazy chicks who attack me when I get to the dressing rooms, I'm not going down without a fight."

Guess what?  The dressing rooms were empty (surprising, right?).  I question the sales associate on why there are no good Anna Sui sizes or pieces.  Her response: "Oh, that's because it's all right here", and then she gestures to two huge racks full of Sui stuff people had tried on over the last two days but which hadn't yet been put back out on the floor.

Okay, I knew from an HCG tipster that certain stores had put the Sui stuff out a little early.  In no way did I think this practice was commonplace, and I never imagined it would screw me over like this.  I spent the next 20 minutes scouring the dressing room runbacks to try and salvage something good.  I ended up trying a few cute things on, but I was so disheartened by the whole saga I could barely stand to look at the pieces let alone buy any of them (and I bought a lot of stuff the day before in NY).  Like any responsible shopper would do, I alerted several other women who were perusing the slim pickings on the floor of the backlog in the dressing room; I even met a new HCG reader, Sara, who herself found a great dress (the only bit of sunshine from this mess).

Here's a little tip Target: if you either (1) plan to put the clothing out early; or (2) know that your incompetent employees don't follow directions and will put the stuff out before the official release date (and I doubt you're unaware of this practice), don't pimp a bullshit "release date" on your website with a ticking countdown and everything (oh yes, there was an official countdown).  You fool people into thinking that if they show on the morning of the release they will have first crack at the goods.  If this is some sort of genius marketing strategy that I am not grasping, please enlighten me.

I hate liars (but, like my brother Johnny, I love lying), and you're a liar, Target. You said the Sui pieces would be released on Sunday, and in fact they were released in some stores 4 whole days earlier.  Do you think I felt like leaving my house at 8:15 a.m. on a SUNDAY to go to TARGET? (okay, I actually did because I was excited about the Sui release.  I even had trouble sleeping this morning and kept waking up earlier than my alarm, but that's beside the point.)

You know what the worst part is?  I went and hyped this crap to HCG readers on Friday (side note to readers: In retrospect, I should've titled that post "Sui on Whatever Day Target Feels like Putting the Crap on the Floor" instead of calling it "Sui on Sunday").  I'm mortified to think that my post enticed anyone to hike it out to Target only to find themselves in knee deep in a buttshow of disappointment like I did.  It's one thing to cross me; it's another thing to cross my readers.

Believe it or not, I'm not as angry as I could be.  If I was really into this Anna Sui stuff, I'd be a lot more pissed off right now.  What if this happens with a collection I'm really excited about, like Rodarte coming in December? I can't even predict what I'll do.  Actually, no, it won't happen with Rodarte because this experience has enraged me so much I'm going to stalk my Target store for 3 weeks leading up to the official Rodarte "release date".  You want to F with HCG?  TRY ME.

Oh, and by the way, your new store design is retarded.

x (no o), HCG

P.S. You make me sick.