How to be a Lady

audreyOne of my Christmas gifts to MR this year was spot on: the dantily-sized book How to be a Lady: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy. Some people might be offended upon receipt of such a gift.  Not MR; she is obsessed with manners and politeness.  As her friend, I derive great pleasure from (rarely) catching her in even the slightest unmannerly behavior.  Since MR and I exchange gifts at work, the book has remained in her office and provided us with much-needed mini breaks from our doughnut making.

We've found HTBAL handy and entertaining, but a few points are rather difficult to abide by.  A sampling below:

  1. A lady makes every effort not to be late. Here Comes Gina makes every effort to be sufficiently well coiffed, dressed and accessorized at each event, and sometimes that dedication results in tardy arrivals.
  2. A lady does not wear clothes so revealing that they embarrass others. It was a HALLOWEEN party.  Give me a break!
  3. A lady wears hosiery to formal weddings and dinners, as well as informal business settings. Hosiery?  We know this book was published in 2001, but come ON.  Do you think Posh wore hosiery to TomKat's wedding?  Didn't think so.
  4. A lady knows when it is acceptable to drink through a straw. Even MR has no idea how to follow this recommendation.  When is it unacceptable to drink through a straw?  Are we missing something?  We Googled this and all we could find was "Why drinking through a straw gets you drunk quicker" (answer: because you drink faster).
  5. A lady does not gossip. Come on.  Who wants this girl at her party?  Or in the office next door?  Not HCG.

Image: Everyone's favorite lady, Audrey Hepburn, in the July 1954 issue of Seventeen.