Juicy

juicy

We are proud to state that we (barely) made it through last week's 3-day Catalyst juice cleanse without dying! We waited a few days to post about our experience to make sure we clearly state our feelings on the subject matter and the results; had we posted the morning after we finished the cleanse, the post would've included lots of curse words. Had we posted during the cleanse, the post would've included lots of typos and been relatively incomprehensible. But now we present a full breakdown of our first successful cleanse - the good, the bad, the pathetic.

What we learned during our 3-day juice cleanse:

  1. The juices tasted far worse than we imagined. Having attempted the Master Cleanse before, we knew what we were in for regarding the nasty level of the spicy lemonade, but we had no idea the other juices would be so hard to swallow. Perhaps Ski and I have more delicate palates than most people, but we could barely stomach the tastes of the juices on day 1. After each sip, I would shudder and get chills over my entire body. Drinking lots of water in between each sip helped, but I still felt nauseous and dizzy after each juice. The feeling subsided as more time elapsed after each juice, but it always returned when I drank another one.
  2. It's key to drink all the juices. If not, you may die in your workout class. Although there's no restriction on working out during a juice cleanse, we had a very hard time keeping up with our normal intense workout regimen on days 1 and 2. Because I drank only 4 of the 6 juices on day 1, I almost blacked out and started dry heaving in my 6 a.m. Lithe Method class the morning of day 2 (special thanks to my Lithe buddy Nicole who checked on me in the bathroom that day). That said, my evening workout on day 3 was one of the best I've had in a while.
  3. We slept a lot. Ski, stumbling around in a deep haze of caffeine withdraw, slept about 12 hours a night, and I, too, found I was significantly more tired than usual. Plus, I just wanted to go to sleep so each hellish day would end more quickly. This explains our rationale for #4 below.
  4. Do it on a weekend. We chose to cleanse during the week mostly because we have too many plans on weekends to avoid social eating. Plus, we didn't want to ruin a weekend with a juice cleanse. Now, with the wisdom of experience, we would recommend cleansing on a weekend. It was simply too difficult to concentrate at work - the place where you're supposed to concentrate - and having an office job where the juice can just sit on your stupid desk and torture you makes the whole thing even sadder than it already is. Working prevents us from sleeping as much as we like, and the cleanse made us a little testy among our co-workers.
  5. Herbal tea and gum help. But not that much because you still have to drink the next juice after. Even though some people say chewing gum is prohibited, I wouldn't have made it through the cleanse without it (I'm also really into Orbit sweet mint gum even when I'm eating). On day 1, I even had to chew gum in between sips of the first few juices because my mouth couldn't handle the gross taste.
  6. A juice cleanse will make you realize how pathetic you can be. In the evening on day 2, I just couldn't take the taste of all the juices and was going crazy. I broke down and allowed myself one chilled Andes mint, and it was incredible. When I disclosed my slip up to Ski the next day, she confessed that as she was watching her man eat a hoagie and potato chips, she grabbed his hand and licked the salt off his fingers. I told her she won.
  7. Not eating is very sad. We really want to stress this point if you're considering doing a juice cleanse. Even though we weren't hungry, we felt very sad to not eat for 3 days. Overall, the 3-day experience was extremely depressing and pretty miserable.
  8. The results were worth it (kind of). Ski and I both dropped weight as a result of our juice cleanse; I lost 5 pounds, and Ski lost 4. On the evening of day 3 I started to feel like myself again, and the morning after the cleanse was over, I felt light and skinny (the best feeling in the world). What pleased us the most is that the cleanse did exactly what we hoped it would: it kick started us back into healthy eating and smarter food decisions. Almost a week later, we've both maintained the weight loss and don't have the old desire to eat unhealthy food.
  9. We'll do it again. Yes, despite how much we suffered during our first juice cleanse, we're going to give it another shot in the future (explanation below). Our significant others are not happy.

Unbelievably, Catalyst Cleanse is 50% off on today's Rue La La Philadelphia deal. While we grimaced a bit at this timing, we were pleased to know that round two will be half as cheap. It looks like this promotion requires you cleanse on a weekend, so take that into account if you consider purchasing it. And if you do a juice cleanse and hate it, don't say we didn't warn you.